Vishous 1.16.12

[Lifting the hand rolled smoke to my lips to inhale deeply, I lean back against the masonry and tilt my head back. Exhaling a stream of fragrant smoke into the chill night air, my eyes scan the expanse of clear night sky overhead.] Move in. Here. [tapping the ash from the smoke, my mind replays last night's conversations around Darius' table. Haven't seen the Brothers that worked up since.. fuck. Can't remember the last time we'd all be in the same room together long enough to get that far.]

[Friday night's bomb had done more than level a nightclub. It'd opened the Brotherhood's eyes. A swift kick to the groin to grab our attention. Nothing like an attempt on your life to get the adrenaline pumping. D was right about one thing. We need to pull ourselves out of the dark ages if we want to keep atop our enemies movements. Shit's gotten critical, in the span of a heartbeat.]

[eyes still locked to the stars, my smoke dwindling to ash between my fingers as the muffled sounds of the evening slowly fade into nothing]

[Realizing that I'm no longer seeing the starlit sky above, I strive to capture to memory whatever's headed my way. Aware that my breath is being held with anticipatory expectation. That if my Brothers were to come to my side at this moment they'd clamor to get the fuck away ASA-motherfucking-P once they got an eyeful of what my left pupil was doing. Sure, they'd all been around when a vision had hit, at one point or another over the years. Didn't mean they wanted to stick around to hear what I had to say about it when it was over.]

What ... the ... fuck?

[Nothing. No. Wait. Something... ]

[I'm not merely seeing nothing. I'm feeling it. Feeling the void pressing in on me. A sensation like... ]

[Blinking rapidly, the stars appearing as my lungs burn for air. On my feet in an instant with the need to escape, to free myself from.. from what?] Holy shit. [Slamming my gloved fist against the wall, spitting curses in the Old Language as I turn on my heel to walk down the path leading to the gardens of Darius' home. Rubbing absently at the center of my chest with my fist, the pressure there nearly too much to bear. Drowning. Suffocating. Stumbling off the path, my ass landing against the iced over trunk of a pine tree, I plant my shitkickers wide, palms gripping my thighs as I swallow thickly and fight to fill my lungs with the crisp January air that my mind knows is there, just out of reach.] Fuck. Me.

[The expulsion of words forcing the pent up breath free, allowing me to gulp in oxygen in great pulls. The sensation of the nothing passing with painful slowness as I pull myself upright. Glancing back to the mansion, shutters up and lights ablaze in most windows, I close my eyes once more, focusing as I dematerialize directly to the deserted back lot of my apartment building. Palming my keys as I pound through the outer doors and up the six flights of stairs, the elevator too fucking slow for my liking tonight. Willing the locks from just outside the door, tossing the keys I carry for show against the small table in the kitchen, I dive into the freezer for a bottle of Stoli. Cracking the seal and downing a long swallow, I pick up my phone and dial a number I hadn't used in months. I need a fucking distraction, and I need it to be my brand of hardcore.] #BBDB